To Strengthen Your Bond with Your Child: Avoid These 8 Common Behaviors | #NwokeukwuMascot

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If you want to maintain a close bond with your child as they get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors | #NwokeukwuMascot

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As a parent, I can tell you that maintaining a close bond with your child as they grow older is not always easy. The journey is filled with evolving roles and shifting dynamics.

There are certain behaviors that can create a rift between you and your child if you’re not careful. These behaviors might seem harmless, but they can slowly chip away at the bond you share with your child. 

In this article, we will unpack the top 8 behaviors to let go of if you want to keep that close connection with your child into their teen years and beyond.

So, if you’re looking to strengthen your relationship with your growing child, read on.

1) Overprotecting them:

As parents, it’s natural to want to shield our kids from all forms of harm or discomfort. But as they grow older, it’s important to let them experience some failures and challenges.

Overprotection can create a barrier between you and your child. When we hover over every aspect of our child’s life, we unknowingly send a message that we don’t trust their judgment or their ability to handle situations. This can lead to feelings of resentment, dependence, and low self-esteem in your child.

So, let them make mistakes. Let them learn from the consequences. Not only will this help them grow as individuals, but it will also strengthen your bond with them as they’ll feel your trust and respect for their autonomy.

Remember, guiding them is important, but overprotecting them? That’s a behavior you need to say goodbye to.

2) Dismissing their feelings:

I remember a time when my son came home from school, visibly upset. He’d had a fall-out with his best friend and was feeling incredibly hurt. My first instinct was to say, “Oh, you guys will be fine. These things happen.” But then I realized, to him, this wasn’t a minor issue. His feelings were real and intense.

One of the behaviors that can distance us from our children is dismissing their feelings. As adults, we often forget that what may seem trivial to us can be a big deal for them.

When we invalidate or belittle their feelings, they learn to hide their emotions from us. They might even start to question their own feelings and reactions.

So, instead of brushing off their emotions, acknowledge them. Let your child know that it’s okay to feel the way they do and that you’re there for them. In that moment with my son, I chose to sit down and listen. And that made all the difference. It’s a behavior change I’m glad I made.

3) Constant criticism:

We all know that nobody’s perfect. But as parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of constant nitpicking and criticism. While we may think we’re helping our kids improve and grow, research suggests it can have the opposite effect.

A study found that children who faced high levels of criticism from their parents had lower self-esteem. So, while constructive feedback is important, constant criticism can damage your relationship with your child. It’s crucial to balance it out with praise and recognition for their efforts and achievements.

Remember, your words hold immense power. Use them to build up your child, not tear them down.

4) Not keeping promises:

Trust is the bedrock of any relationship and it’s no different with your child. When we make a promise to our kids, they look forward to it with anticipation and excitement.

Breaking these promises, no matter how small they may seem to us, can be deeply disappointing for them. Over time, this can lead to a lack of trust and a feeling of insecurity.

Whether it’s a promise to play a game with them or to take them on a trip, make sure you follow through. If for some reason you can’t keep your promise, explain the situation to them honestly.

Keeping your word shows your child that they can rely on you. And this reliability forms the basis of a strong, lasting bond.

5) Lack of quality time:

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to let days or even weeks go by without setting aside dedicated time for your child. Work, chores, and countless other responsibilities can sometimes take center stage.

But children cherish these moments of undivided attention more than anything. It’s in these times that memories are made, bonds are strengthened, and love is deeply felt.

Quality time doesn’t have to be an extravagant event. It could be as simple as reading a bedtime story, cooking a meal together, or just listening to their day. Every moment spent with your child is an investment in your relationship. Slow down, connect, and cherish the little moments. They matter more than you might think.

6) Ignoring their interests:

Once, my daughter developed an intense interest in insects. I’ll be honest, bugs are not my favorite thing. But seeing her eyes light up as she talked about different species, their habitats, and their behaviors was something I couldn’t ignore.

When we disregard our children’s interests, we inadvertently send a message that what they care about is not important. This can make them feel undervalued and disconnected from us.

On the other hand, showing an interest in their passions not only validates their choices but also provides common ground for connection and conversation.

So, even if it’s bugs, football, ballet, or video games – take an interest. Your child’s passion could open up a new world for you too.

7) Being inconsistent:

Consistency is key in parenting. It gives your child a sense of security, knowing what to expect from you. But inconsistency can lead to confusion and mistrust. If you enforce a rule one day and then ignore it the next, or if your reactions to the same behavior vary considerably, your child may feel insecure and uncertain about where they stand.

Being consistent in your rules, rewards, and consequences helps your child understand the boundaries and expectations. It reassures them that despite the ups and downs, some things remain the same.

Consistency is one of the strongest tools you have in maintaining a close bond with your child as they grow older.

8) Failing to apologize: 

We’re human, and we make mistakes. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we may hurt our child’s feelings or act in a way that’s not fair. When this happens, it’s crucial to apologize.

Apologizing shows your child that you respect them and their feelings. It also teaches them about accountability and the importance of admitting when they’re wrong.

So don’t shy away from saying “I’m sorry.” It’s a powerful phrase that can mend bridges, heal hurts, and strengthen your bond with your child.

At the heart of it all - Love:

The complexities of parenting and maintaining a close bond with your child cannot be underestimated. It’s a delicate dance, filled with countless highs and lows.

In the midst of this journey, it’s essential to remember that love is at the core of it all. Genuine, unconditional love is the strongest bond and is truly irreplaceable.

As parents, we may not always get it right. But the beauty lies in our ability to learn, grow, and adapt. By saying goodbye to these 8 behaviours , we take a step towards cultivating a relationship with your child that is anchored in respect, trust, and love.

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